Thursday, 6 February 2014

Day 37: The last day.  End of the road.  At about 10AM this morning, my status changed from cancer patient to cancer SURVIVOR.  I am still waiting for the results of course, but my PSA count had already reached zero from drugs alone, so I don't see how the cancer could have the resilience to survive radiation (although I should recognise that the cancer formed from my own resilient flesh).

Today's appointment was earlier than ever.  So I had to begin prep at 7:20 AM, despite the continuing tube strike.  Not a problem.  We arrived in plenty of time and, just after I'd self-administered the enema, Hopie went off to a seminar leaving me to wait for two hours.  In fact it was longer than two hours as it happens.

None of the people I'd met over the months were there apart from the bald Asian woman who never speaks, so I spent the time reading Stranger in a Strange Land, which provided some insight, particularly into my own relationship with the treatment.  I am not a passive recipient of medical techniques done to me.  Instead I grok in fullness the radiation feed I am experiencing and engage with the radiographers as people providing me a service.

For example, today they kept me waiting, for which they apologised, which meant that my nails were digging into my flesh so hard I thought I would bleed in my effort not to pee.  Once they finished, I asked "may I please have a urine bottle" and peed in front of them because I couldn't wait.  No embarrassment, no hesitation, and after that, "Thank you very much" and goodbye.

My rectum is still pretty sore, so I'll be delaying the return to a normal diet, but coffee is now okay and perhaps tomorrow, I shall also eat chocolate.  The possibilities are endless.  I have my life back.

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